To your last paragraph, I do think that's where the hardest part comes in. The transition from small talk to true friends is tough. It requires opening up and forming an actual connection. At least for me, that's where the going gets tough. But you do at least have one thing in common and that's a pretty good start.
Overall fantastic reflection. I think I should reach out to those geographicaly close friends I don't message enough...
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately myself. In 2019, two couples, some of my closest friends, lived within a 30 min walk from me (less by subway). Now 6 years later they’ve moved away and are now a 45+ minute drive away (with light traffic, 2+hours transit). I really took it for granted, it was wonderful. There have been a lot of changes in that time, but I think that on a personal level this has had a really big impact. I’m also wondering how to make new friends nearby as an adult. Really I think forced proximity to people is the best way to breed friendships. Anyway appreciate you sharing your thoughts, and I hope you find some new connections.
This is probably one of the best articles you've ever written, and it's not even to do with transit (directly)! I find in Sydney most people don't actually *want* friends after they get married and have children. Work and family is all the time they have. And the last time anyone makes friends is university. My closer friends who live close ( < 20 minutes away) don't want to see me, only just talk on the phone or messaging. I might see them once every couple of years. Everyone is just too busy once they get married.
I'm really surprised to hear that, it's not been my experience in Toronto at all, I'm married and I see friends a couple times a week, I think it might be closer to daily if I could solve this problem.
Perhaps its time to find some new people, not seeing your friends (on your friends part) is lame!
This post rings so true. One of my closest friends from high school, and at one point roommates after university, has been living in Japan since 2015, and as much as it sucked for me missing him, I'm sure it was that much harder for him to basically have so many close friends he'd want to hang out with be a 13-hour plane ride and a couple thousand bucks away.
In terms of ideas, I do love involving some kind of physical activity when chilling with friends! Not only does it drive you to associate exercise with good times, but it also just helps it to not feel like a chore in the moment! I really think people who mix the two eventually become those seniors who you sometimes see still crushing it in whatever sport they love.
To your last paragraph, I do think that's where the hardest part comes in. The transition from small talk to true friends is tough. It requires opening up and forming an actual connection. At least for me, that's where the going gets tough. But you do at least have one thing in common and that's a pretty good start.
Overall fantastic reflection. I think I should reach out to those geographicaly close friends I don't message enough...
Making the transition is the key problem!
Reach out!
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately myself. In 2019, two couples, some of my closest friends, lived within a 30 min walk from me (less by subway). Now 6 years later they’ve moved away and are now a 45+ minute drive away (with light traffic, 2+hours transit). I really took it for granted, it was wonderful. There have been a lot of changes in that time, but I think that on a personal level this has had a really big impact. I’m also wondering how to make new friends nearby as an adult. Really I think forced proximity to people is the best way to breed friendships. Anyway appreciate you sharing your thoughts, and I hope you find some new connections.
A 30 minute walk is pretty great! But, don't dwell on the past too much, you could have friends 15 minutes away in the future.
This is probably one of the best articles you've ever written, and it's not even to do with transit (directly)! I find in Sydney most people don't actually *want* friends after they get married and have children. Work and family is all the time they have. And the last time anyone makes friends is university. My closer friends who live close ( < 20 minutes away) don't want to see me, only just talk on the phone or messaging. I might see them once every couple of years. Everyone is just too busy once they get married.
Thanks Albert!
I'm really surprised to hear that, it's not been my experience in Toronto at all, I'm married and I see friends a couple times a week, I think it might be closer to daily if I could solve this problem.
Perhaps its time to find some new people, not seeing your friends (on your friends part) is lame!
This post rings so true. One of my closest friends from high school, and at one point roommates after university, has been living in Japan since 2015, and as much as it sucked for me missing him, I'm sure it was that much harder for him to basically have so many close friends he'd want to hang out with be a 13-hour plane ride and a couple thousand bucks away.
In terms of ideas, I do love involving some kind of physical activity when chilling with friends! Not only does it drive you to associate exercise with good times, but it also just helps it to not feel like a chore in the moment! I really think people who mix the two eventually become those seniors who you sometimes see still crushing it in whatever sport they love.
The post secondary years were magical because your friends and cohort were almost always within bus and walking distance away from you.
Sadly I didn't experience that, commuter school!
I'm reminded of this - https://prigoose.substack.com/p/how-to-live-near-your-friends
Hypothetically, you can get your friends to move to you. Have I put any of these suggestions into action? ... Not yet
This is an interesting post! Thanks for sharing it!